Today is the saddest day I have had in a very long time. I was so looking forward to it, I had so many plans, and couldn't wait to get more information. Today we were heading to the doctor to hear our new baby's heartbeat for the first time. Today I should be 12 weeks and 1 day pregnant. They were having trouble hearing the heartbeat so had us wait in the waiting room until they could get us in for an ultrasound. In the meantime, we went ahead and scheduled our next appointment. I did this with a terrible feeling in my stomach, I think I knew then what we were about to experience.
They never found a heartbeat. They said the baby stopped growing at 9 weeks. I feel so bad for not knowing sooner. We are so sad. I know many women have been through this and gone on to have completely normal babies afterwords, but right now, we are full of sorrow and confusion. It is going to be a rough rest of the week as I have to endure a DNC 2 days from now.
We had already told our families and a few friends we were having a baby, due July 19th. I don't know how I will face that day. Or people that knew when I see them in person. I know they mean well, but that awful look of pity in their eyes is heartbreaking.
This picture is of the appointment card for the appointment we will never attend. A terrible reminder of the pain we are suffering right now.
2 comments:
I had no idea Angi. I am so sorry for your loss :(
Thanks girl. It still sucks, but we have hope next time we try it will end up differently.
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